Why Do Men Struggle to Ask for Help?

Most everyone has experienced challenging emotions or trying issues at one point or another. Let’s face it; life is tough between juggling work, relationships, finances, and families. It’s a lot for anyone to handle on their own. But what happens when we don’t ask for help? It eventually takes a toll on our mental health.

Mental health has no biases, regardless of age, race, gender, or socioeconomic status. Yet, men are the least to seek help due to the stigma or perception of being mentally stronger. Therefore, we must change societal viewpoints to help men achieve the wellness they equally need and deserve.

The Origin of Man’s Struggles

We’ve all had different experiences in our childhood – some healthy and others not so healthy. For instance, some children might have received more encouragement from their families, while others were harshly disciplined. But growing up in a stringent atmosphere where boys are taught not to cry or told to “toughen up,” it’s no surprise they’d ask for help less frequently.

Men are also more prone to live up to society’s standards of what a man should be due to the stereotypical norms of masculinity – tougher and less emotional. Yet, that is an unfair depiction.

These stereotypes may cause more suffering and lead to dire consequences if men don’t get the help they need.

The Consequences of Not Seeking Help

Not asking for help can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as socially isolating, resorting to substances, self-harm, or death by suicide.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare records state, “2,358 men died by suicide, ranking 18.2% of 100,000 of the population.” Compared to 786 women and 6.1% of the population. That is quite a substantial difference in the rate of suicide among men and a possible indicator that men seek help much less.

Fortunately, more places are now paving the way for men to reach out and find mutual support among other men without guilt or shame.

5 Ways to Achieve Mental Wellness

Experiencing feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or despair can be debilitating. However, you are not alone, nor do you have to go it alone. So, what are some things you can do to start feeling better about yourself?

  1. Reflect on what matters to you. When we don’t take the time to address our wants or needs, we neglect our emotions. Therefore, finding what matters to you and gives you purpose is essential, whether talking with a friend, reading poetry, or volunteering at a shelter. Whatever works for you.
  2. You don’t have to solve everyone’s problems. Men tend to have this innate nature to play the role of superman and want to fix everyone’s problems. Still, that is too much for any individual, not to mention a recipe for burnout. Therefore, try to be easy on yourself and remember that you are only one person. You must care for your wellness first before you can help anyone else. Just make sure to set limits.
  3. Spend quality time by yourself. Taking time for yourself is beneficial for many reasons. Individuals are often more productive when alone, such as completing tasks they might not have around others. It gives their brain time to think and navigate problems without distractions. Plus, it allows them time to sort things out, thus improving their mental health.
  4. Take time to exercise. Whether you take a five-minute walk around the block, clean up your yard, or join a gym, exercise is a natural way to release endorphins (a happy hormone). In turn, this decreases anxiety and depression and improves one’s health and well-being. So, pick something that suits you best and go at your own pace.
  5. Find a support system. Sometimes picking and choosing our battles and whom we disclose to can make all the difference. In other words, we may have trusted friends or family members with whom we share. In contrast, others may be less supportive or don’t know how to help. Still, there are more options than you think, such as support groups with others who can empathize.

One such place is Barty’s Adventures, where they hold special events and adventures to help men feel better about themselves by keeping active, thus improving mental health. Barty – We Are A Mental Health Initiative

You Are Not Alone

It’s vital to know that you are not alone. Having someone who can relate to your issues and listen without judgment can help relieve your sadness or loneliness. Plus, caring for your mental health is as important as your physical health.

No matter what you’re going through, you deserve to be supported.

Why Not Try Online Therapy?

Hopefully, these points could give some comfort, but sometimes just reading quotes isn’t enough. Online therapy can be a great option if you or a loved one is looking for more support.

Therapy through BetterHelp.com/Barty can be more affordable than traditional therapy and allows many options to communicate with your therapist from the comfort of your home. Most importantly, remember that it is okay not to be okay, and you are no less of a human for feeling your emotions and being vulnerable.

To receive 25% off your first month, head to BetterHelp.com/Barty

Feel free to drop by if you’d like to chat and just say, ‘Hey Barty,’ in strict confidence, and you can be anonymous if you wish. Or do not hesitate to leave a comment below.

Sandy Glover


Sandy is the resident mental health professional at Barty. She previously worked as a therapist, earning a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's in counselling. Sandy has transitioned to becoming a peer presenter at several mental health settings through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Her passion for mental health is evident in her writing as a subject matter expert who draws from personal experience, professional expertise, and education to help eliminate stigma.

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